Note to self

The two worst things a person can do when they realized they are blessed is:
1. Not be grateful 2. Stay comfortable

thoughts of the moment: ministry

i recall a conversation i once had with a friend... perhaps it was 7 or 8 years ago.

a bunch of us were in the car, and we had driven by the scene of an evening car accident. most of us were oooing and awwing at the obviously unfortunate of the event. someone had comment "man, that sucks to be them"- a typical and socially acceptable reaction.

then i asked one friend why she was silent-- what was she thinking? she later told me "every time i see a car accident, i don't say anything. i just silently pray for them".

what a great example of what it means to be ministers of the Gospel. it's not always about feeding people or giving hugs or donating money. those are good things too. how many times do we forget to simply pray for others- whether it be enemies or friends, strangers or family.

someone once told me that God doesn't need us to pray so that He can know what's on our hearts. He already knows. so why pray? it's because by praying, we're demonstrating faith. faith that He'll do what He does best- be in control.

i think about that car accident story frequently. every time I see a car accident, often that story replays in my mind. though me and that friend are quite distant now because of academics, careers, and travels, I'm glad that they were in my life. some friends come and go, others stay, but no friend exists without leaving a footprint.

thanks friend.

doors and storms

life has become such a whirl wind in the last week.

overwhelmed with photography work, and at my full time job i'm getting a lot of heat for really trivial things.

emotionally, complete storm of emotions, confusion, and a ton of unanswered questions. is it real?? should i chase? or is it a simple fading of emotions that I haven't tasted in 25 months?

but life has gotten so busy it's easier to be numb about everything.

plus, the doors are slowly opening to some future opportunities of adventure + life.

God, you are mysterious but you are still in control.

...surrendering is a constant battle that leads to victory.

your hands and feet.

i want to be

an old Franciscan blessing/prayer

God bless you with discomfort

At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships

So that you may live deep within your heart

May God bless you with anger

At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,

So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears

To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,

So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness

To believe that you can make a difference in the world,

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done

To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

searching for a partnership

i always thought my pickyness would do me no good. indecisiveness, lots of disappointment, lotsa of rejection.

but after all this searching and searching and research and emails, i think my pickyness will be worth it. things that i mentally filter OUT regarding ngo's and non-profits

1) groups who offer magazine/periodical subscription

2) activities that include going to the pool or computer technology

3) "backpackers welcome"

4) ecotourism

5) play with monkeys

i'm not against fun or recreation. but i guess for me, i'm searching for groups in what i think are "real need". things like holding kids hands, reading together, cooking as a community. some argue I'm against the luxuries of life but I wouldn't want to go that extreme. fun is nice but there's a whole lot of people in need-- orphanages, understaffed medical clinics, and languages going extinct. why do we spend so much effort conserving colorful birds and studying monkey and chinchilla behavior when there's thousands of kids roaming the streets, near-naked, painfully hungry, and in need of something as small as a hug?

dear You, the readers who still frequent my off-beat blog, don't take hugs for granted.