Tuesday, August 31, 2010

so emo

this blog has become so emo

its ok. i have every right to ramble as i wish, as this blog is mine (or so they say).

clocked 14 hours today in front of computer screens doing work. not a lifetime record, but definitely a headache to think about. my mom and i recently argued about how much i'm hurting my eyes with doing all this work, and i tell her i have no choice (because i really don't). she said "and when you go blind, what's all that work going to matter then?" i had no answer. and then i continued to do work.

is this what i really want?

should i just quit, mid october?

are finances really that important? im not desperate, i'm just trying to have a cushion for the winter months.

in other news, i realized my ability to perceive nearly everyone around me as "less than on par" in their work ethics is simply because i'm an obsessive, compulsive, arrogant perfectionist. i demand too much because i feel like if work should be done, it should be done very well and very good. not that i output work like that all the time, but that's how i perceive an end-product to be. do i nag people too much for little mistakes? spelling, punctuation, color, blemishes, tiny errors in their essays and in their subject titles? mispelled names? yes. do they deserve it? probably not.

but honestly, in the working professional world-- student, athlete, photographer, business person, i think there should be a high standard of competence. if you can't fit that competence, find another job. or go back to school. or return that bachelors of yours. yes that was a mean thing to say, but we're adults now. think the FLIPSIDE. if you were corresponding with another person/business, how would you like it if they spelled things wrong, produced badly-grammaticized emails and sloppy work? i certainly wouldn't return phone calls or emails or give them my business.

i like puppies. i like dopey puppies.

i want a break from life.

and i need a hug.

/end ramble

Monday, August 30, 2010


so i've decided that work isn't an obsession of mine. i think it's become a dangerous, evil master to my head.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


life isnt a math problem. not everyone presented with a problem can easily see the solution.

sometimes, you have to help them with that solution, and not just stand there ASSUMING they'll figure it out.

why are you all so ignorantstubborn?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

it was beautiful

for the first time in a long, long, long time, i had the chance to watch the sun set.

i sat there, alone, and breathing in that majestic scenery made me teary-eyed.

beautiful indeed.

Monday, August 16, 2010

random thoughts of the now

1) what am i doing

2) what am i doing (This is for something else...)

3) what am i doing (this is for another something else..)

4) it's been one year.

5) guide me, guide me, guide me.

1 Peter 3:14-15a
14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord....

edit 8.22.10

maybe I'm the one running.

self reflection

does being picky and selfish mean that i'm not being obedient?

Friday, August 13, 2010

writing an email

we got an inquiry asking to tell them about our inspiration & what our approach is to photographing a wedding day.

i teared writing up the last part... I guess i really like this job.

Our inspiration: We love moments. We recognize that the wedding day is a huge celebration of a couple's lifelong commitment in front of God & loved ones, but a marriage isn't defined by one big event. Just as relationships are developed over time-- filled with the big and small and precious moments-- we believe a couple's love story can be exceptionally told (and retold) with moments. That's why we love our job so much-- because we're entrusted to capture those very moments. Just as the old adage goes ("a picture says a thousand words"), our goal to is to create images that speak for themselves in a powerful way.

Monday, August 9, 2010

my own wedding

a lot of people ask me what kind of wedding I want to have.

with a lot of thinking, I've decided this:

small. intimate. relaxed. really easy schedule.

outdoors, gorgeous light, preferably in the fall.

so much of my life is so compact, so structured, and daily overflowing with stress and work.

i can't remember 5 days of relaxation in the last 3 months for me. its almost to the point of sickening, but in the place that I am in in life, that's the way it has to be. if i want a wedding that reflects the opposite of my everyday life, then i want a wedding that feels like a 'break', not a 'stressful event'. we celebrate best when the subject of our celebration is much and the amount of work is less.

that's what i dream of: a plain awesome wedding.

Sunday, August 8, 2010



A heartfelt reminder that we're commanded to rejoice in our joyful times, as well as in our sorrow.


God gives us pain and sorrow, joy and weeping, so that we are reminded how much He loves us and entrusts us to be in those situations & still glorify him through it all.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

This makes my heart stop

i love these moments


Monday, August 2, 2010

quote of the moment

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regret, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it."